What I Learned This Year

I have heard myself say "I have got to get it together" more times than I care to admit this year.  If I am not saying that, I am thinking, "I am really just not myself lately."  I mean, of course I am myself. But I feel like I just don't do all the things I normally do and it doesn't even bother me like it used to anymore (maybe that's a GOOD thing?).  Am I just getting old and slowing down?  What IS wrong with me?  Why can't I get it together?

Here's what I know.  I have had a hard year.  But I would never tell you that (except for the fact that I just did).  Because I didn't get divorced.  I didn't lose my job. Disney World did not fall off the face of the earth.  I was not diagnosed with an allergy to beer.  You get the picture.  Nothing cataclysmic happened.

Here's what I learned.   And it took me until mid-September to really figure this out.  There are a lot of things that can happen in your life that are exhausting mentally and physically.  You know, other than the big things you know will naturally do that to you (see aforementioned list).  You don't have to have a major life event in order to have a bad year or to be going through a hard time.  You can have a series of draining situations that leave you, well, drained.  I really thought this summer would be a good recharging point for me and I could face the fall with a renewed spirit.  But, at the very end of the summer, a new situation presented itself that was kind of life altering.  And here I am, back in the ocean, trying to get someone to throw me a line. Again.

And that's life for you.  You can have every intention of doing this, that, and the other thing, but you really don't have any way of knowing what's coming your way.  And then you have to make a decision on how to proceed.  But proceed you will.

And now I am at the reflective point in my year where I wonder....am I proceeding as I should be?  Is this the best I can do?  You might not be able to do all the things you did before.  It may leave you feeling like you are only part of your former greatness.  But don't be too hard on yourself.  Do the best you can with what you have and maybe you can go back to some of the things you did before once you settle into your new reality.  Or...maybe not.  Try to breathe and embrace it.  But don't hold on too tight.  Life is full of seasons and seasons come and seasons go.  Sometimes we are reaping the harvest and sometimes we are sowing the seeds.  And no season lasts forever.  Change could be just around the corner.  Again.

Embrace Your Season~
K