It's Cheaper Than Therapy

Date Stick Jars

Still coming down off Valentine's Day, let's talk about date night.  With your spouse.  Sounds awesome, right?  This has been a struggle for me for years, not going to lie.  It's either because we can't find the time or (usually) the money.

Two years ago, the issue was just making it happen.  I made sure we had a date night scheduled for the last Saturday of every month.  Literally.  I wrote it on the calendar for the whole year.  Now we were doing better about actually dating, but I felt like we always went out to eat.  Which is fine.  But a little boring.  And sometimes expensive (If you have no self-control when it comes to your bar tab.  Which, we don't.).

So now we move to last year.  My goal was to have a little more variety in our date nights.  I had seen a "date sticks" idea on Pinterest (this is not a 50 shades thing).  The premise behind it was you could pick a date stick and have some spontaneity in what you were doing that night.  Now, we don't personally like the random pick, so we look at them all and pick one out that we like.  That might be cheating a little bit.  Meh.

Sometimes I feel bad that we don't go out more.  But honestly, we do a lot of stuff together as a family and I feel like many of those adventures are dates too.  If we go on a hike, we will hold hands at some point.  Or we are at the park and the kids will run off and we will be able to talk.  A couple of weeks ago we hit a brewery on the way home from a hike and history explore.  The kids played Battleship and we had a flight together. Sounds like a date to me. Get it where you can.

And we have lots of double date time.  We do things with other families and the kids go and play and we get to hang out with the grown ups.  I think that counts as date time too.

But yeah, I get it.  We're supposed to have alone time.

Chinese food and kung-fu

There are lots of date ideas on Pinterest.  Some of them I liked, some I didn't.  Go buy some large popsicle sticks at AC Moore, get a red fine point Sharpie and starting writing ideas on your sticks. Throw them in a jar and have at it!  We have 2 jars:  "Staying in" and "Going Out".  Going out of course always equals more expensive.

But you know, it's not about spending money.  You know what my favorite date night this year has been?  We got chinese food and watched kung fu. In bed.  It rocked.  And don't get all dirty on me. We were not naked. And contrary to popular belief, everyone was NOT kung fu fighting.

So here, in no particular order, are our date sticks.  Please feel free to steal them, alter them or add to them!

Staying In
Watch the first movie you ever saw together
Read aloud to each other
Exchange foot rubs
Football and fried chicken
Mexican night
Take out and Scrabble
Watch a documentary together and discuss
Make calzones and play a board game
Have a candlelight night
Make your own massage oil.  Exchange back rubs.
Blankets on the back porch and watch a movie
Roast marshmallows over a fire
Make a bucket list together and make your own sundaes
Homemade pizza and Italian movie
Make mulled wine
Plan our next trip together
Make a puzzle and eat pizza
Nachos and a boy movie
Learn a new hobby together
Build a fort together
Camp outside together
Make milkshakes and watch home movies
Fancy popcorn and a chick flick
Look out our wedding album
Play a childhood game
Make dessert together
Play video games together
Dinner and a movie - with a theme
Search online for dream home
Have a picnic outside under the stars
Make fancy coffee and go for a walk
Video record the story of how you met and fell in love
Fondue and wine night
Play cards
Paint together on canvas
Make a playlist of 10 songs from when you were first dating
Pick out cheese, sausage and wine and then share
Write out 10-15 memories each.  Then read them out loud to each other.
Make foreign food and plan your top 10 trips you want to take.
Chopped challenge - recipe or ingredient
Make a collage of favorite pictures - digital or otherwise
Make something you've never made before in the kitchen together
Ice cream night!  Buy small containers of favorite (each of us).  Talk about ice cream memories from your childhood.


Going Out
Drive in date (http://www.goochlanddriveintheater.com)
Drive out of town to stargaze together (maybe you can do this where you live, we will see nothing!)
Go antiquing
Window shopping for the house.  Replan a room
Laser tag
Go zip-lining
Go to a hockey game
Grab a pint at an Irish pub
Go to a museum
Play darts
Go bowling
Do a wine tasting
Play paint ball
Drive go carts
Go rock climbing at a gym
Do a beer tasting (we have no problem doing this one!)
Go to the shooting range

So what I am working on now is variety and not feeling guilty when I spend time with my husband (this is such a ridiculous emotion I refuse to discuss it further).  I put dating my hubs on my goal list this year so I would remember it was top priority.  There are plenty of things on the list that don't cost as much, although we are going to try to have some of the outings monthly as well.  And really, it's cheaper than therapy.

Happy Dating!
K

Don't Be A Drag....A Valentine's Day Follow-Up

Hey ya'll!  How was your Valentine's Day? Hope it was everything you wanted it to be.  And if it wasn't, well....then let's talk.

Let me start by being honest.  I am not a big fan of Valentine's Day.  I guess I just don't believe that there should be one day where you show people how much you love them.  I mean, my word, how much pressure is that?!  

I used to be one of those nightmare girls.  You know the one....you really need to get it all right for her or she is going to be disappointed and not feel special.  And if you don't get it all right, you will definitely know and hear about it.  I don't know why I used to be like that and I don't even know what made me change.  I wish I did so I could slap some wisdom on you.  (I also wish I could slap my past self!)

I have learned to embrace that everyone has their own way of showing love.  And that is OK. What shows you love and what shows others love can be two totally different things.  You have to appreciate other people's ways of showing you love, even if it's not what you want or expect.  Don't impose your ideals on others.  Let them be just as God made them.  Let them be themselves.  

I know now that love is a precious gift and you can't ever take it for granted.  More importantly, you have to appreciate people's love, in whatever form it comes in.  It is truly the greatest gift.  It is a gift for you to be loved, but it is also a gift to be able to love others.  

 

That being said, yesterday my husband texts me and says, "I left something for you in your car."  This is not our usual ammo and I was wondering as I walked to my car what was up.  Right now, my husband and I are on a mission to get our bills paid off and I am perfectly ok with saying, hey, don't spend money on me, let's just have a beer and get 'er done.  Surely he didn't waste money on flowers? No.  Instead, I got the greatest gift in the world....

Yeah, you are seeing it right.  I got a huge container of guacamole and chips from my favorite Mexican restaurant.  I just about died laughing but don't trip, I was HAPPY!  Some girls want roses, I just want guac.  It was the perfect treat and something that made me feel really loved.  And more importantly, understood. 

As a teacher, I do love Valentine's Day with my kids.  They get so excited about it, like everything.  I had a student who gave me a present that is the perfect example of what I am talking about.  He was so very, very excited when he gave me this.

It's not a Hershey kiss, folks.  It's poop.  A poop emoji stuffed animal that says....wait for it....you're so stinkin' cute.  I was...a little speechless when he gave it to me at first.  Then I looked at his little face, which was so excited and lit up.  I really don't think he knew what it was supposed to be and if he did, apparently he thought it was the best poop stuffed animal in the world (can you call this a stuffed animal?).  Of course I gave him a huge hug and thanked him so much for my gift.  And I really was touched that he gave me a present, and mostly the look on his little face.  No one has shown their love to me before with poop but hey, everyone has their own way of showing love.  And that is OK.

Lighten up and let people love you the way that they know how and can.  And don't be a stinker either.

~K

2017 - Recap and Regroup?

February....it's here already.  And just like that, one month of the year is gone.  (and if I don't hurry up and finish this post, this month is gonna be half gone too!)

How ya' doing on your goals?  Haven't set them yet?  Hmmm.... Well, I'm not here to fuss at you but guess what...it's time.  Now it's February and the next thing you know it will be April.  What are you waiting for?  Really.  Just turn off the TV and go to bed 15 mins early.  Take a cup of tea and a notepad with you and snuggle up for some me time.  Spend some time on you.  Think about what you would like to get out of this year.  The fun and the serious.  Refer back to my original post if you need help in how to make this more manageable.  Be Resolute in 2017

So let's say you have set your goals (go you!).  At the end of each month, it's a great time to recap and possibly regroup.  Obviously only one month of the year has gone by.  So hopefully you don't have too much regrouping to do.  Quite possible you haven't gotten started, but you shouldn't have half your list checked off either.  Hopefully you can see where you've taken some steps in the right direction!  Yeah, progress!

My main area that I have been focused on was from my frame:

That covers a lot of ground huh?  (You're telling me, you should see how frustrated I had become!)  There have been several things on my goal list that I felt would help me in this area. One was to start reading for pleasure again.  I have been diligent about going to bed at 9 and giving myself some down time, aka reading time.  I've started making myself a cup of tea and it has really become a ritual.  I have enjoyed this so much, ya'll and it has paid off!  I have read...wait for it...5 books since Jan 1!  Whaaaatttt??  I know, it's crazy, right? I can't believe it my own self. Most importantly, I go to bed in a much more relaxed state.  I have also began meditating in the mornings (I'm up to 7 whole minutes!  woohoo) and I have been making an effort to have date nights with my husband on Saturdays.  All of these things are helping me feel like I am not just working all the time and not having any me time. 

Now, believe me when I tell ya'll that there is a whole page of things that I haven't even gotten to yet. But that is ok.  It IS just February.  But if you haven't yet, write your goal list.  Then just pick something on your list.  Anything.  You can try focusing on a different thing or category each month if you want.  Remember, we said we were going to be purposeful, determined and unwavering in our pursuits for 2017.  Don't let another year get by you!

~K

I'm Gonna Need More Joy

One of the best traditions I have started in recent years is the Joy Jar.  I read where a family had a memory jar they kept every year. They put in slips of paper about things they did all year and then went through the jar on New Years Eve as a way of remembering all the fun things they did.

I liked this idea but I wanted to change it a bit.  I wanted ours to be a "Joy Jar".  Every night when we sit down for dinner, we say what our high for the day was, as well as one thing we were grateful for.  These things are sometimes big events, but most days, they are just the little unexpected happinesses that make up life. These are the joys I wanted captured in my jar.

We decorated a jar and put a notepad and pen next to it.  Anytime something happens that brings us joy, someone adds a slip to the joy jar. This can be anything from "Daddy making spaghetti tonight" to "Our Disney World vacation was AWESOME!"  Once a slip goes in the jar, there it stays until the first day of the new year, when we eat our Hoppin' John Soup and dump out the Joy Jar.  I can't even tell you how we have the best time walking down memory lane and finding out what we did that brought others joy. Sometimes it's obvious (like a vacation) but most of the time, not so much.  I am always surprised at how much we forget in a year's time.  And I am always surprised by many of the comments in the jar.  It's not, "we went to Water Country yesterday".  It's "When we were at Water Country Mommy held my hand".  The most amazing thing of all is how stinkin' happy we all are after reading through the jar.  We walk away from reading the slips changed people.  A little happier, a little lighter, a little more grateful, a little more loved.

Hoppin John and the Joy Jar dump

After we finish going through our jar, I am kind of bummed that we have to wait a whole year to do it again.  And this year I wondered....how can we do this more often?  I need the happiness that reading these slips brings us more often than once a year.  I mean, what are we saving the joy for anyway?

Then....inspiration struck.  I would make a smaller Joy Jar and keep it on the middle of the kitchen table.  Then, once a week, on family night, we will dump our Joy Jar and read all the slips from the week.  THEN we will put those slips in the bigger jar and save them for our annual New Year's Day read. Now we get guaranteed joy once a week.  It's a great kick off to family night.  And usually, it sparks more slip writing.  Yes, joy begets joy. And I'll be honest, I could of used a little more joy (or cowbell).

One thing I have to caution you on with Joy Jars is not to put them someplace too out of the way.  I have a centerpiece for our kitchen table and was always trying to keep the jar off my table.  But, if you put it on a shelf somewhere, out of sight is out of mind, and you are not thinking of putting things in it, especially if it is not yet a habit.  I made the move to put the smaller one on the center of the table and it is full every week.  It's like you have to think about the joy because it's right there in your face. This is a good thing.  You are focusing on what brings you joy.  What can I put in the jar?  What brought me joy today?

Columba Marmion was an Irish monk who said,

"Joy is the echo of God's life within us."

Are you a joyful person?

Do you want to be?

Change your focus.  Focus on your joy.  We are being bombarded with negativity by the news and social media.  It is so toxic for your soul.  You are going to have to get your joy on. And don't rely on anyone else to do it for you. Because these days, no one will.

Make sure your life is showing God's life within you.  Which should be love and joy.  Be joyful.  If for nothing else, that you have had this gift that we call today.  May it be well with your soul.

Love Y'all~
K

A Reading Challenge & Accidental Habits

Remember my post at the end of December about what I learned last year?  Another thing I learned is that a lot of the activities we do in our life, even more than we think, are just habits. While I was going through "my issues" last year, I started to do less and less of my "normal" activities. One example is blogging.  At first, it was "I just don't have time." But then you find that you are always saying you don't have time.  And if you let life take you over, you have suddenly formed the habit of NOT doing something.  Ever.  And sadly, they are usually things you enjoyed.

One habit that I accidentally broke last year was reading.  I absolutely love to read.  The library is one of my fav places to be and I swear my blood pressure goes down as soon as I walk through the doors.  I can wander around aimlessly with no particular book in mind for hours. I am also a huge fan of the site Goodreads.  It's a great place to keep track of all the books you want to read and those you have read.  (Because I don't know about ya'll, but I can't remember anything without writing it down anymore!)  Best of all, they give you recommendations based on what you have read and liked.  You can connect with other readers as well and recommend books to your friends.

Last year, due to my reading habit being broken, my reading goal was not quite reached.  This year, I have challenged myself to

1. Get back into the reading habit
2. Have a specific book to read each month
3. Read 30 books

There are lots of reading challenges out there and some of them are quite lengthy (and intimidating!).  I really wanted one that was a month to month challenge but couldn't find the perfect one.  So...I just borrowed some ideas and made my own!

My 2017 Reading Challenge

January – A book that was or is being made into a movie

February – A  love story

March – A book that’s been on your “to read pile” for a year or more

April – A book that is based on a true story

May – A classic

June – A New York Times Best Seller

July – A summer novel that is just for fun

August – A book you picked because of the cover

September – A book someone recommended to you

October – A thriller

November – A Young adult novel

December – A book everyone says you can’t put down

I have already read 2 books this year and they have both been great so I feel like I am off to a good start!  Here are some of my very favs from last year! (Goodreads will also give you an annotation of the book, if you want to know what they are about)

       

Here are the books I am committing to reading in 2017 (now that I've told you this, I am really committed!).  I am trying to branch out!  I love looking at those "books you have to read" lists on Pinterest.  It's where I get a lot of my ideas for what to read.  I would also like to read a classic every month.  But...let's be real, I only read 21 books in 2016 so I will be doing well just to read one from the challenge list and one from this to read list. But who knows...now that I have accepted my new reality, maybe I can start reading again.  It's a habit I love to have.

            

             

             

Read On!
~K

A Good Way to Start the New Year

Purge:  To rid someone of an unwanted feeling, memory or condition, typically giving a cathartic release.  Synonym: to cleanse.

My faithful readers know what time it is.  It's purge time.  No, we're not going on a diet or drinking some detox stuff.  Not right now, anyway.

January is a time when you are feeling renewed and refreshed and energetic.  You need to jump on that feeling.  Quick.  It's the perfect time to put your house and your self in order. You will be amazed at how much lighter and more organized you will feel when you start cleaning out all of the things in your house that you really don't need.

For those of you who are new to this, we are going through our house, room by room, drawer by drawer and getting rid of every and anything we don't need.  Don't freak out, we are not doing this in one day!  The best way to purge your house is bit by bit, but following a schedule so that it doesn't go on forever.  I personally like to be done in one month.  I also find that once I start, I get even more motivated.  But it can be exhausting too, I'm not gonna lie.  Pace yourself.

You have to purge mindfully and ruthlessly.  Walk in a room with a trash bag and start with a drawer.  Ask yourself.  Do you really use this item?  Do you need it?  Is it adding value to anyone's life in your house?  No?  Get rid of it.  Holding onto things you don't need is weighing your life down.

It is a very big job to say "purge the kitchen".  It is really simple if you do it drawer by drawer, cabinet by cabinet.  That way, if you have just 5 minutes, you can do a drawer.  Simple.  Well, not the junk drawer.  That's not so simple.

Here is my list (yeah, a list!) of how I break down my purge.  Your's will be different, obviously, based on your house.

2017 Purge

There are several things you can do with the items you decide to purge.  Have a yard sale, sell things online, or ask friends if they need an item.  If you don't want to fool with any of that, take it all to Goodwill.  Better yet, have the vets pick it up at your house!  All you have to do is get it on your porch.

Rubbermaid containers and lots of organizational tools that can help your cause are on sale this month.  As you are purging, if you have a room or an area that is particularly a mess, you might want to think about it.  This room/area is probably not set up the best way possible because it is not working for you.  This is a great time to take advantage of those organizational sales!  While you are purging, you can also make a list of things that need to be fixed.  Handle broken on the drawer you are purging?  Need to get some new kitchen towels because all the ones you have look ratty?  Write it down.

I have one daughter that I love doing this with, she is a great purger.  I have another daughter and a husband who are awful to purge with.  You know the hoarders in your house.  Keep them out of this activity!!

If you are afraid someone is going to have a come apart if you get rid of something, put it in a bag and put it in the attic.  CAUTION:  do not transfer everything from the house to the attic!  Also, staple a piece of paper to the bag with a date 3 months from today on it.  In 3 months if no one has freaked out about it, send it to Goodwill.  I have never had to retrieve anything out of the attic.  Just sayin'.  And...you will have to purge your attic too at some point.  Don't let this be you:

Man, that was embarrassing to share.  My attic.  I have to keep an eye on it at all times.

There are so many ways you can make this fun.  Listen to fun music, invite a friend over to help you (they are super objective!), purge with a glass of wine, purge with a friend and wine!  I promise you, once you do one room, you will feel motivated to keep going.  (Or at least keep drinking the wine!)

You might not want to start with the hardest room in the house.  For me, the kitchen is always one of the worst (where DO all these glasses come from???).  I definitely don't start there.  I like to start with under the sink in the half bath.  There.  That was so easy.  Especially with that glass of wine.  Hey.  Don't judge me.  I'm working here.

Having your house in order makes you feel like you have your life in order.  And in a sense, you do.  Or at least, it's a start.  Ever heard of fake it til you make it?  Surround yourself with only the things you love and need in your home.  You will be surprised at how your life will follow suit.

Start your new year lighter!
~K

Let's Eat!

It's January 4th ... high time for your January menu!  We've got some good, stick to your ribs winter food on here this month!  Don't worry about wrecking your diet goals...it's all good clean eats!

So feel good about your meals while you get your comfort food on!!

As always, all of these meals can be made ahead and frozen!

December 2017

Enjoy!
~K

Be Resolute in 2017 !

It's the first week of 2017.  So you know what that means...it's your annual goal pep talk!  Don't groan!  If you have followed my blog for over a year, you know that I am not a believer in New Year's resolutions.  To me, a resolution is just you deciding you are or aren't going to do something.  People, if we could just decide something and do it, we would all be some skinny, non-smoking, gym going to, water drinking, thoughtful people.  Well.  Anyway.  Will power alone ain't gonna cut it.  It never does.

That being said, while I am not a believer in resolutions, I am a huge fan of goal setting.  I like to sit down at the beginning of the year and think of all the things I would like to accomplish.  A new year is so energizing to me.  At the same time, I find this overwhelming, so I have to make categories.  I am not a dork, it's just how my brain works.  OK.  Maybe I am a dork a little bit.  Here's where I go:

Home:  Projects I want to do around my house.  These come in all shapes and sizes and are generally dictated, like the rest of my life, by my budget.
Health:  Usually my shortest list.  Just keeping it real.  I did a good job with this category in 2016 so...go me.
Social:  I love my people.  Want to have more date nights?  Want to spend more time with friends doing fun things?  Insert ideas here.
Finances:  Do you want to do something in particular with your money?  Just wish you had some?  Yeah friend, me too.  Here is where we start figuring out how to make that happen.
Me:  This should be the best, most funnest category!  How come it is the hardest? What do you want to do for YOURSELF?  Be your best friend this year.
Things I'd Like to Do - These are a few of my bucket list items that are once again, dictated by my budget, but I feel might be doable.  Yes, doable is a real word.

You don't have to figure out how to make all these things happen right now.  Just start by writing things down you would like to change, add or remove from your life.  It starts that simple.

If you do write down goals (and if you are going to set them, you have got to write them), review your goals from last year at this time.  Be kind to yourself.  Some goals didn't get accomplished because they just weren't important to you.  Maybe you felt like you should say you were going to stop cussing.  But then you were like, geez. I just enjoy it so damn much.  That's just for example.  I'm not saying that's me or anything.  If you aren't really vested in it, it's not going to happen.  So keep it off your list.

I love making a goal frame with some of the things I want to be most focused on.  I saw this idea several years ago on My Craftily Ever After and I loved it.  This is not the place for your plan, but a place for your focus.  Put this somewhere you will see it every day.  One of my focus items is "Stop:  Being frustrated."  Obviously this is not a step by step plan on how to accomplish that.  I just want to look at this every day and remember that I am trying to be less frustrated with my life.  My goal notebook has several things that are supposed to take me in that direction.  In the frame, my focus items are:

Start:
Stop:
Learn How To:
Try:
Project:
Trip:
Bucket List:




Don't make resolutions.  Be resolute.  Be admirably purposeful, determined and unwavering in your pursuits.  How powerful is that?

Now, go kick 2017's butt.

Happy New Year!
~K