Be Resolute in 2017 !

It's the first week of 2017.  So you know what that means...it's your annual goal pep talk!  Don't groan!  If you have followed my blog for over a year, you know that I am not a believer in New Year's resolutions.  To me, a resolution is just you deciding you are or aren't going to do something.  People, if we could just decide something and do it, we would all be some skinny, non-smoking, gym going to, water drinking, thoughtful people.  Well.  Anyway.  Will power alone ain't gonna cut it.  It never does.

That being said, while I am not a believer in resolutions, I am a huge fan of goal setting.  I like to sit down at the beginning of the year and think of all the things I would like to accomplish.  A new year is so energizing to me.  At the same time, I find this overwhelming, so I have to make categories.  I am not a dork, it's just how my brain works.  OK.  Maybe I am a dork a little bit.  Here's where I go:

Home:  Projects I want to do around my house.  These come in all shapes and sizes and are generally dictated, like the rest of my life, by my budget.
Health:  Usually my shortest list.  Just keeping it real.  I did a good job with this category in 2016 so...go me.
Social:  I love my people.  Want to have more date nights?  Want to spend more time with friends doing fun things?  Insert ideas here.
Finances:  Do you want to do something in particular with your money?  Just wish you had some?  Yeah friend, me too.  Here is where we start figuring out how to make that happen.
Me:  This should be the best, most funnest category!  How come it is the hardest? What do you want to do for YOURSELF?  Be your best friend this year.
Things I'd Like to Do - These are a few of my bucket list items that are once again, dictated by my budget, but I feel might be doable.  Yes, doable is a real word.

You don't have to figure out how to make all these things happen right now.  Just start by writing things down you would like to change, add or remove from your life.  It starts that simple.

If you do write down goals (and if you are going to set them, you have got to write them), review your goals from last year at this time.  Be kind to yourself.  Some goals didn't get accomplished because they just weren't important to you.  Maybe you felt like you should say you were going to stop cussing.  But then you were like, geez. I just enjoy it so damn much.  That's just for example.  I'm not saying that's me or anything.  If you aren't really vested in it, it's not going to happen.  So keep it off your list.

I love making a goal frame with some of the things I want to be most focused on.  I saw this idea several years ago on My Craftily Ever After and I loved it.  This is not the place for your plan, but a place for your focus.  Put this somewhere you will see it every day.  One of my focus items is "Stop:  Being frustrated."  Obviously this is not a step by step plan on how to accomplish that.  I just want to look at this every day and remember that I am trying to be less frustrated with my life.  My goal notebook has several things that are supposed to take me in that direction.  In the frame, my focus items are:

Start:
Stop:
Learn How To:
Try:
Project:
Trip:
Bucket List:




Don't make resolutions.  Be resolute.  Be admirably purposeful, determined and unwavering in your pursuits.  How powerful is that?

Now, go kick 2017's butt.

Happy New Year!
~K

What I Learned This Year

I have heard myself say "I have got to get it together" more times than I care to admit this year.  If I am not saying that, I am thinking, "I am really just not myself lately."  I mean, of course I am myself. But I feel like I just don't do all the things I normally do and it doesn't even bother me like it used to anymore (maybe that's a GOOD thing?).  Am I just getting old and slowing down?  What IS wrong with me?  Why can't I get it together?

Here's what I know.  I have had a hard year.  But I would never tell you that (except for the fact that I just did).  Because I didn't get divorced.  I didn't lose my job. Disney World did not fall off the face of the earth.  I was not diagnosed with an allergy to beer.  You get the picture.  Nothing cataclysmic happened.

Here's what I learned.   And it took me until mid-September to really figure this out.  There are a lot of things that can happen in your life that are exhausting mentally and physically.  You know, other than the big things you know will naturally do that to you (see aforementioned list).  You don't have to have a major life event in order to have a bad year or to be going through a hard time.  You can have a series of draining situations that leave you, well, drained.  I really thought this summer would be a good recharging point for me and I could face the fall with a renewed spirit.  But, at the very end of the summer, a new situation presented itself that was kind of life altering.  And here I am, back in the ocean, trying to get someone to throw me a line. Again.

And that's life for you.  You can have every intention of doing this, that, and the other thing, but you really don't have any way of knowing what's coming your way.  And then you have to make a decision on how to proceed.  But proceed you will.

And now I am at the reflective point in my year where I wonder....am I proceeding as I should be?  Is this the best I can do?  You might not be able to do all the things you did before.  It may leave you feeling like you are only part of your former greatness.  But don't be too hard on yourself.  Do the best you can with what you have and maybe you can go back to some of the things you did before once you settle into your new reality.  Or...maybe not.  Try to breathe and embrace it.  But don't hold on too tight.  Life is full of seasons and seasons come and seasons go.  Sometimes we are reaping the harvest and sometimes we are sowing the seeds.  And no season lasts forever.  Change could be just around the corner.  Again.

Embrace Your Season~
K

Haters Gonna Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate.....

For a long time I thought that reality TV was the worst thing that ever happened to our country.  Now, I am pretty sure that social media is.  I know!  Ironic coming from a chick with a blog.

So here's what happened to me today.  The day after the election, I vowed I would not get on Facebook for love or money.  I wanted no parts of the comments and bickering.  Even though the election was over, I knew people were not ready to move on.  Not today, my friend.  But it was one of my best friend's birthdays and I wanted to post something nice for her on Facebook because I couldn't see her today.  (So, as it turned out, I guess I would go on Facebook for love.  I would have taken the money gig too but that offer didn't happen).  I go out there and do my business and then.....I did it.  I saw the top story in my news feed.  But it was good!  It was from an old friend of mine who said, 

"Folks, be kind to one another today.  Celebrate if you want to celebrate.  Grieve if you want to grieve.  But for the love of all that is holy, respect someone with a differing opinion and move on."   

I loved that he said that.  It was like this little happy light went on in my heart that maybe I was wrong and people were going to move on starting right now!  And there were like 20 comments and I was like, oh look, everyone is ready to heal and move on!  And I kept reading because I was so excited!  There were many positive comments in agreement and then...there it was.  An all out nasty comment war between people, who may or may not have even known each other, I don't know.  I was reading with my jaw dropped (because people being rude and uncivil never ceases to amaze me and for Pete's sake you are being hateful when he just said to NOT be hateful), and then I just stopped reading, because I couldn't go on.  And when I exited out of this tirade, I felt this terrible feeling, as if the comment had been directed at me, but it wasn't.  It had nothing to do with me whatsoever.  But I felt it.  And after a few minutes, it was still on me. You know what that is?

Toxicity.  

You see when people are ranting their hate and their anger and their ugliness, it gets all over you like mud and it takes just as long to get off. My heart was altered for the rest of the day.

I really blame social media for this.  And maybe cell phones too.  Sure, let's throw them in there too. People don't have face time anymore.  They hide behind phones, they hid behind computers and suddenly, because of this, people have been emboldened to say whatever they want to and in the process, they have forgotten their manners (I'm quite sure this happens less in southerners but I don't have the evidence to prove that yet).  But better yet, they have forgotten how to be decent people.

Let me share a quote with you that I love.  Chew on it for a minute.

We don't have to agree on everything, we don't have to believe the same things.  Since the dawn of time, man has not.  But now, for some reason, people think that if we disagree on something as simple as a political candidate, that they can have vehement hostility towards each other. And please, do not tell me it is because of who the candidate was.  That is a cop out.  People, it seems to me, are just looking for something to be pissed off about.  For some, this election fit the bill quite nicely and gave them a whole group of people that they could put their ugliness on and hate.  You know what?  I'm not Gandhi, but I know you should not have that much hate in your heart about anything.

I wish people would put the kind back in human kind.  Some of us will keep on trying to be a little bit better, a little bit kinder, a little bit nicer.  Some, sadly, will not.  All of us need to not lose heart and think that just because we can see these rude people more on social media, there are more of them.

I leave you with one more quote.  It's the most important one of all.  It's from Will Smith.  No, not Shakespeare, Smith.  Yeah, heavy philosophy tonight!  Years ago he did a remake of the song "Just the Two of Us".  It was a song to his young son.  There was a line in it that just stuck with me all these years and I say it to myself and my own daughters all the time.

Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad,

Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.

Humankind, please don't drink the poison.

And For the Love of All That is Holy, Be Kind To Each Other~
K

November's Menu

 I don't know if it's because we were on vacation, but I am in serious denial that it is already November!  This weekend I made my November freezer meals and reality has set in.  Yeah, it's November.



This month is sure to be busy with the kick off of the holiday season.  Here are some recipes to help you out!  All can be made beforehand and frozen (but they don't have to be, so calm down)!

November's Menu

Enjoy!
~K

October's Menu

It's Fall Ya'll!!!  While Fall is my very favorite season, I am having to come to terms with the fact that we are not going to be able to do all our usual traditions because we are going on a big vacation.  It will make it worth all those things I will miss this Fall.  I just gotta keep saying that to myself for the next 20 days.  (I do love my traditions!)



Here is a fabulous fall menu that I hope you will enjoy!!

October Menu

~K

August Menu

Summer is just flying by...like always.  While Team Holmes has been ripping and running as usual, I still had to find time to stock up on some tasty meals for August.  Just because I don't go into work in the summer, does not mean I feel like figuring out what's for dinner!

This past weekend I had my first "private session" freezer meal session and we had a ball! We decided to do a "past favorites" menu, with only a couple new recipes thrown in.  It was the first freezer session that ever had a beer run in the middle.  And I gotta say, I kind of liked it!

Here is August's menu.  All those items in orange can be made ahead as freezer meals.  Or not.  Up to you!  And feel free to throw in beer runs as necessary!

August Menu

Enjoy these recipes!

~K

How My Daughter Got Me Back into a Bikini

What is it about summer that makes it go so fast and makes the kids grow up even faster than normal?  I swear when I get back to school, my students look like they have been on Miracle Gro for 2 months and my own children are no exception.

For my own personal reasons, I have not allowed my now 13 year old to wear a bikini.  At the beginning of the summer, she asked me, "Mom, why don't you let me wear a bikini?"  and I said, "Why do you WANT to wear one?"  She says, "The only kids that wear tankinis are little kids and the only teenagers that wear them are the ones who are ashamed of their bodies.  I don't want people to think I am embarrassed of my body."  Which, is short of a miracle coming from her, because I have definitely heard non-flattering comments regarding her body come from her mouth on more than one occasion.  Hmm.  Well, that was a pretty valid argument.  After talking it over with her father (and determining that she would be a great lawyer one day), we decided that we would allow her to start wearing a bikini.  Sigh....

Somehow I manage the trauma of shopping for a bikini with my Teenie and I am pleasantly surprised that this seems to make her more confident instead of less confident.  Then, I get to thinkin'.  Why did I stop wearing a bikini?   If my 13 year old, who is at the most self-conscious time of her life, can wear a bikini proudly, why can't I?   Why can't I let go of the terrible 80's idea that was drilled into my teenage head of what was beautiful and the normal size (think Jane Fonda work out videos and terribly skinny chicks)?  Why aren't I embracing who I am and what I look like right now?

If you go to any beach or water park, you will always find all types of shapes and sizes in all types of bikinis. What I am trying to say is this.  Someone will always look better than you.  And someone will always look...less in shape than you.  But that's not what I see when I go to these places.  I see people of all body types letting it all hang out who don't seem to care what other people think.  And it makes me just a little bit jealous.

So I had to take a step back and give it a chance.  I channeled another lesson I have learned this year...don't buy cheap clothes.  Yes, I had to spend some money on a bathing suit.  I love you Target.  Really, I do.  But your bathing suits are not made for grown people.  So for the first time in forever, I went to ....(pause for dramatic effect)...the mall.  Guess what?  It's just as expensive as I remember it!  But seriously, bathing suits are on sale in July.  Summer's over, I guess, folks.  So, that helped me a little.  It also helped that many of the bathing suit tops came in actual bra sizes instead of S, M, L. Score one for the grown people (bless you Dillards!).  And so I found 2 bathing suits that I actually really liked and purchased.

And then it occurred to me that maybe that's what we all need to do.  No, not wear bikinis.  Maybe we all need to be a little less worried about what's going on on the outside and more about what's going on in the inside.  I watched my daughter, who is not entirely comfortable with her figure, embrace it and love it and be proud of it.  She inspired me.  I don't LIKE wearing tankinis.  They make me feel frumpy and old.  So what the heck am I doing in one?  I need to embrace me, not just the good parts, but all parts.  And so, I did.  Score another one for being fierce in 2016.

Happy Summer, Ya'll!

~K