On Being Joyful

I try really, really hard to be a happy person.  Some days, it just seems so easy.  Some days, you have to dig a little deeper. Joy is not something we need to find.  Most of the time, it's right there in front of us.  It's just a matter of making a choice of what are you going to focus on.

We have to start by stopping.  Stop Complaining.  Complaining is the biggest joy sucker around.  Oh believe me, by no means am I trying to pretend that I don't complain about things. Sometimes I even do it a lot.  Because I find that once I get fired up, it's like that fire spreads and then I am complaining about everything.  And, like many things, complaining can become a habit.  So let's just stop complaining, right?  Riiiiight.  Easier said than done. How do you break this cycle?  You can start by trying to be aware of what is coming out of your mouth. Doesn't mean you will stop it, but at least you are aware of what you are saying.  That's a start. Really! Many habits are things we don't even realize we are doing.  Knowing is half the battle. We all know we can find something to complain about, no matter how good the circumstances.  So forget about what is wrong.  Try real hard to keep that mouth closed (for some of us, this takes Divine intervention!).  And focus on what is right.  And that's a whole lot more than you may think.

Now let's start.  Start being more grateful.  Be grateful for what we already have.  Not what we want.  Not what we are going to be happy to have in the future.  What we have right in front of us.  Right now.

Grateful - to be full of appreciation for something.  

This is one of the most powerful tools in the joy arsenal.  We take so much for granted.  Sometimes we are tearing through life, missing out on so many simple pleasures.  One of my favorite quotes ever is from the book The Color Purple by Alice Walker, "I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it."  Now, I don't really think God gets pissed off, but how much beauty and love and kindness does He lay out for us every day?  Can you even see it?  I started something with my girls years ago to remind us to take notice of the beauty all around.  If I see something like a beautiful morning sky, I will say, "Look guys, God sent us a postcard!"  Because it really is like He sent a beautiful picture just for you.  Just to say hi.  Just like a postcard.  "Wish you were here!"  Thing is, you are here.  Make sure you know that.  

There are two things I do to help focus on gratitude. The first way gets the whole family involved. Every night at dinner, we each say our "high" for the day and one thing we were grateful for.  These are often interchangeable.  Sometimes they make you laugh ("I am grateful my math test is over with") and sometimes they put a lump in your throat ("I am grateful for my family").  I am often amazed at what my kids come up with.  It is not only a wonderful way to consider what you are grateful for, it's also a way to positively reflect on the day, AND a much better way to get insight into each other's days than the standard, "How was your day?" (which will only elicit the dreaded response "fine").  Now, rule in our house is, people can say whatever they want.  So if my kids are grateful that Daddy made spaghetti (and they ALWAYS are), then they are grateful for Daddy's spaghetti.  It doesn't always have to be deep. In fact, that is the beauty of becoming grateful.  Noticing the small joys all around us.  Like spaghetti.

The second way I try to focus on gratitude is by keeping a gratitude journal.  This is another thing I got from the Simple Abundance book all those years ago.  Go to the store and pick out a journal that you love.  One that is beautiful or makes you smile.

Get a nice pen.  A fancy pen.  A pen that you love using.  Keep both of these by your bed.  Every night, when you get in bed, write down 5 things that you are grateful for.  It might be really hard for you at first.  But it will become easier.  It's like you learn how to be grateful just by thinking about what you are grateful for.  Sounds crazy right?  And let's face it, some days are going to be better than others.  Some days you will write things like "I am grateful this day is over".  That's ok.  It IS really important that you write these down (not just think about it).  The simple act of keeping a gratitude journal will make you realize how much you have to be grateful for. And before you know it, you will be grateful for things like ...the smell of coffee...that green light on the way to work...to get hugs when you get home.  It's not the days that you get a new car or a promotion that make life worth living.  It's all the little stuff in between.  Little stuff you want to be sure you are not missing simply because you are not focused on it.

This year, I decided to add something new to the mix.  A Joy Jar.  I saw the idea on Pinterest (if I had a nickel for everytime I said that!) as a memory jar for the year.  I wanted to use it for the family to write down anything at all that brought them joy...something funny someone said, a good grade, an unexpected surprise.  The idea is that you fill the jar all year long with these notes and on New Year's Eve, we will sit down as a family and read through them.  What a great way to end the year, reflecting on things that brought you joy all year long!

 I have been wanting to tint a Mason jar and this was a perfect opportunity.  I thought about where I was going to put it (lesson learned from goals picture frame!) and decided to go with a kind of amber color.  All you need is a Mason jar, Modge Podge (I used gloss), waxed paper, a cookie sheet and food coloring.  Oh yeah, and an oven.

Mix together:

• 2 T Modge Podge
• About 4 drops of whatever color you want to go with (I used 4 drops red food coloring, 4 drops yellow and 1 drop blue to get "amber")
• 1/2 t water

After mixing well, pour into your jar.  Swirl this around until it is evenly coated.  Place your jar upside down on waxed paper.  Let drain for 10 minutes.  Then, place upside down on another piece of waxed paper or parchment paper on a cookie sheet.  Place in the oven for 20 minutes at 250°.  Then carefully move the jar over and bake for 25 minutes longer.  A lot of "gunk" is going to pour out of your jar.  It's ok.  Mine was not dry yet (I used a big ole jar) so I continued "cooking" right side up, for 20 more minutes.

When it was done, I tied some simple brown string on top.  I was going to do something fancier but I liked the idea that the "simple look" can remind us that most often, the joys in our life ARE the simplest things.

Someone said, "Joy is the echo of God's life within us."  I think that being joyful is the best way to say "thank you" to Him and for all you have been given.  You can't expect to receive more if you don't even appreciate what you already have.

And please take the time to notice the color purple.

A Little Gratitude Goes a Long Way!
K