Shalom in the Home

Years ago, there was a reality show on TV called "Shalom in the Home". There was this rabbi, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, who went to help families who were in some type of crisis.  I only saw one episode (even though I really liked the guy, I just don't watch a lot of TV), but the name of the show really stuck with me.  To the point that I would tell my friends "I just want some shalom in my home."  I really just said it in jest at first, but the more I said it, the more I started thinking about what it meant.

How do you have peace in your home?  What could I do to make this happen?  We women...we set the tone of the home.  Are you friendly in your home?  Are you smiling at people?  Do you act happy to see them?  These questions might seem crazy.  They might bring to mind June Cleaver.  But think about it...because we usually don't think about it.  We are just going through the motions of our day.  Would you be happy to come home to you?  We all have days when we need to vent.  But take a minute to smile.  To say hi.  To give a hug and kiss.  Breathe.  Take a minute. Then you can move into any venting you may need to do.

What do people see when they first walk into your house?  Is it inviting?  What do YOU see?  Do you cringe at the sight?  Maybe your walls need a coat of paint or there is something broken or unsightly when you first walk in.  That sets the tone too....for you.  Make sure this area doesn't make you tense as soon as you walk through the door.  I usually get home first and I always make sure the girls put their things away.  Because no one wants to walk in and have to step over shoes and see a mess of bookbags and lunch boxes as soon as they walk in the door.  We have a place for those things, and they are not in a pile by the front door.  (All it takes is some hooks or a large basket!)

I also try to make the house extra relaxing for my hubs before he gets home.  We have a lamp in the corner of the living room.  I love soft light. In the winter, I like that light to be on instead of the overhead light.  I even put on some jazz music.  The hubs job has been stressful lately and it really is nice to walk in to peaceful lighting and music.  I can see him visibly loosen and relax when he walks in.  Even smile!  He is so relieved that he can come home to some shalom.  After he gets home, if the girls want to go in the living room and do something, that is fine.  The music can go off and the light can come on. What is important is that first moment when he gets home to his shalom. Do you ever greet your spouse at the door?  Ever done it with their favorite beverage?  On particularly bad days (when the weather is nice)...I have even met Chris in the driveway with a cold one in hand.  You should see the smile on his face!  If you are stressed at your job, you really need that safe place.  A place to come home to and relax.  A place where someone is happy to see you. You need a little shalom. You don't have to do this every day.  But I ask you to try it just once and see what happens.  OK, initially your spouse will want to know what you are up to and might be too suspicious to enjoy it.  So you might have to try it twice!  Who knows...maybe someone will even return the favor to you.

This goes for when guests come over as well.  I used to think nothing of people coming over and seeing me running around in the kitchen like a mad woman...they would know how hard I was working for them, right?  Hmmm....
Then I started thinking of the same philosophy being applied to guests.  Don't they want to be greeted at the door?  (I mean, obviously someone lets them in...but I was usually in the kitchen)  I used to not make appetizers very often.  Now, I have to have them.  Because...you need to take a minute. Take a minute to smile.  To say hi.  To give a hug and kiss.  Breathe.  Take a minute to say welcome to our home.  Sit down, have an appetizer.  Have a drink.  Dinner can wait.  Your guests came to see you.  And everyone who walks through the doors of your home deserves the wonderful gift you can give of a little shalom.

Peace to you my friends!
K