My heart Healed a Little Bit Today

When someone you love and live with has been hurt, it can really take a minute to heal from that.  You think you get out of your circumstances and everyone will be just fine, but it just doesn’t work like that.  It’s like a physical wound that has to scab over and then heal.  It takes time.  I think that is why I am so anxious for summer this year, because I feel like it will take that whole 9 weeks for us to relax and regroup and yes, to heal.  I mean, some days I feel like I am trying to love my daughter so hard that all her brokenness will stick back together. 

Throughout everything, and there were a lot of things, my lowest point was when my daughter couldn’t sing.  She has a beautiful gift from God…an amazing voice.  And at some point in all of this, I am sure that she felt like that was all she had left.  I will never forget the day of her voice lessons when she just had nothing.  She was exhausted from not sleeping and she was completely stressed out.  And we kind of felt like "Now what's left?".  I promised her she would heal, we would all heal, and things would get better.  

There are much worse things that people go through in life, such as families splitting apart or dealing with a serious illness or losing loved ones.  And those people heal too.  It might take a little longer and in some instances, you never completely heal.  There will always be a whole in your heart where that person was, or where your family was whole.  And most always, you have scars left.  Many times, these experiences make you a better person.  More compassionate.  More empathetic.  My daughter was already a very kind-hearted person.  But I know now that for the rest of her life, she will build others up because she knows what it’s like to be torn down.  I know that she will be a champion for the underdog.  And I know that she is stronger and braver already at age 13 than I ever realized.

Several weeks ago, you may remember, she had the flu.  Well, the flu doesn’t do much for your voice.  Today she had a voice recital.  The last couple of weeks have been a struggle with trying to get her voice to recover from the flu.  She was supposed to perform two songs.  I suggested she ditch one of them.  She wouldn’t have it.  She forged on and worked and worked and I prayed and prayed.  This was so important to her and to me.  Not because it was some professional debut.  Not because she was supposed to be perfect.  Because it represents something.  It’s her gift.  It’s something that we thought couldn’t be taken away.  And then it kind of was.  Her gift, being back and fully intact, represents her healing.  It represents her moving forward.  And it represents something she can give to the world.  That beautiful gift that touches my heart and, I hope, the heart of others, who hear it.  It represents her ability to rise above it all.

And like a phoenix, she rose from the ashes.  Today I saw her whole again.  Surrounded by the people who love her the most and listening to her sing, my heart healed just a little bit.  When she sings, I see all that is beautiful and perfect about her.  And I know that we will get through this.  Healed, but always touched by it, and made a little different by the experience.  And we will take the powerful lessons learned and know that with God and our love for each other, no one can make us broken.  Not for long.

Now, if you will indulge me and forgive me for a braggy, proud momma post, I would like to share one of her songs with you.

"On My Own"

Cassidy - On My Own

Cassidy with her wonderful voice coach, Nicole

Enjoy~

K

A Close Encounter

Dinner and a movie night is back folks.  This time on the menu, Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

A couple of weeks ago we had our BiFFs over for dinner and a movie night.  Which, in case you missed the February 7th post, is a stay at home double date where one couple hosts.  We pick a movie someone hasn't seen and try to fix this injustice to mankind.  We watch it and have a themed dinner. Super fun.  And I.  Love. Themes.

So, if you have never seen this movie, you are going to be a little lost in this blog post.  I will try to help you out as best I can.  At worst, you will get some great recipes.

For starters, we had some "Hotter Than Devil's Tower Jalapenos".  They weren't really THAT hot.  But it's a good name.  For those of you not in the know, Devil's Tower is that tall thing in the picture under the ginormous space ship.  It's a real place in Wyoming.  I don't think the space ship is there though...

Stuffed Jalapenos

We cooked ours in the oven instead of on the grill.  Still delicious.  I was so mad though...I forgot the tomatoes and cilantro on top.  I'm pretty sure that was going to take these to the next level.

For dinner...a little "What's on the Side of the Road" Pineapple Ginger Flank Steak.  I can't really go into detail about the name without spoiling the movie.  Delicious.

Pineapple Ginger Flank Steak

And how would dinner be complete without a mashed potato bar!  There is a very famous scene in the movie where Richard Dreyfuss has a come apart of his very own at the dinner table.  With mashed potatoes.  It's awesome.

So we had some of our own (mashed potatoes, not nervous breakdowns).  Sadly, I was so excited to fix mine, I forgot to take pictures.  But it was kind of like this.

Our toppings included:

bacon

cheese

jalapenos

green onions

garlic

butter

sour cream

Make it your own.  And definitely serve in the martini glass.  It's a mashtini!  

For dessert....First of all, do you remember these things?

Oh, my gosh.  There were several flavors but they were all stupid except for the raspberry ones.  Well, I found a Zinger cake.  Oh yes.  I will figure out a way to work this into the movie.

This cake was so good.  (DEFINITELY refrigerate it before you eat it.)  

So this is....wait for it.  "I Saw a UFO" cake.  Get it!?  You don't?  The scene in the movie...where Richard Dreyfuss sees a UFO and then his face gets sunburned...but only on the side that was exposed to the UFO. 

 NOW, do you get it? Haha...I could do this all day.

Let's not forget our beverages.  Tasty Alien Secretions.  OK, the name is not so tasty.  Actually they called it Alien Pee.  So I really brought it up a notch.

Alien Secretions

Have you recently had a close encounter?  I mean with your friends, not with aliens (although if you have, I'd love to hear about that!)  Enjoy time with friends, it's what really mattes.  Close Encounters taught us that we are not alone. We're not meant to be.  That's for sure.

~K

Where's the Fix?

So many of you are probably wondering right now...where's the fix?  Well, after last time, when I kept everything, I realized I'd better go to every other month.  Because I have a very serious problem. My problem is that many of my goals are in direct conflict with each other.  One of our goals, a big goal, is to pay off our debt.  I mean, we always say that but this year, we wanted to really, truly be serious and have a plan and stick to it.  We know we won't have it paid off in a year, but that's mostly because of family goal #2....go to Disney and stay on property.  So, right away you see what I mean about conflicting goals.  It's ok, we don't like to do things the easy way around here.  The problem with us paying off our debt is that when I say we have a goal like this, I will try to cut all the corners I can to make our plan happen.  In other words, I will think, if I just don't get my hair cut this month, I can put that money towards this bill.  Because I truly do get excited about paying something off and accomplishing this goal.  However, I did say I was going to get my nails done, and go out with girlfriends, and take care of me this year too.  You see where I am going here.  Inner conflict.

Now you know now that I haven't had a fix in 2 months!  I was so excited to get my first bit of summer clothes and I just knew there was going to be some shoes in there.  I love that first peek into the box.  It's so exciting!

There's those shoes!  (they come in a bag, for further anticipation!).

Ok, so that first peek isn't that exciting.  How about this one?

That looks fun, right?!

Here's my ritual.  I take everything out one by one and squeal.  My daughter jumps up and down beside me and tells me to keep everything.  Then, I pull out the price sheet. I have to know almost immediately if I am not allowed to fall in love with something.  Then, before I stress over what I am going to pay for, I try everything on.  Usually this helps me know what I really love and what I eh.  I usually have pretty good luck with stuff fitting but when it doesn't, I feel like God is trying to help me out.

Item #1 - Liverpool Kay Skinny Jean - $78
I asked for a pair of white jeans and her words were "these are the same brand as the dark wash jeans you adored in Fix #1".  I had already made the mistake of sending one pair back, it wasn't going to happen again.  Well played Stephanie Y (she's my stylist and BFF in case you have not been keeping up).  Well, as soon as these jeans touch my leg, I remembered why it pained me so to send them back.  These jeans are like butter.  Its not very often denim can make that claim.  I would so pay $78 for butter jeans.

Verdict:  Kept

Item #2 - Atalya Cold Shoulder Top - $48
Of course this was the first thing that caught my eye!  In cute pink and orange, it's nice and bright.  I did tell my stylist that I really like the off the shoulder look. And here it was!  Hubs and I were going to Sunday brunch and I wore this to brunch faster than you can say "I'll take a Bloody Mary".  (Yep, still got on the jeans.)

Verdict: Kept it and the Bloody Mary

Item #2 - Colibri Sleeveless Top - $44
I am a polka dot lover!  I did suggest polka dots and I love navy and white.  I prayed this top was not going to be $80 because I knew it was a keeper AND was going to go great with my new butter jeans!

 

Verdict:  Kept

Item #4:  Kut From the Kloth Boyfriend Short

Alright, I just had a milestone.  $78 for jeans.  $68 for shorts?  Now you are pushing it.  There are actually several problems here.  The real one is....I haven't worn shorts in...years.  Like 10 or more.  I hate shorts.  I hate the way they feel and ride up.  However, I feel like there are shorts out there for me and I just have to find them.  And maybe they will be $68.  But not today my friend.  I also found these just a little too rough looking.  I could live with the tears but not the unfinished turned up look of the cuff.  I have faith that Stephanie Y will find the short for me one day.  And when that day happens, you will be the first to know about it.

I feel like there is going to be fallout from the shorts return.  I am ready.

Verdict:  Returned

Item #5:  Seychelles Top Notch Woven Wedge

First pair of shoes.  So cute.  So exciting.  So expensive.  

The shoes come in this adorable bag.

And while I love them, 

I cannot pay $100 for shoes.  

Verdict:  Returned

So thanks to my beloved BFF (my real one, not Stephanie Y), I was able to keep the jeans and 2 tops. Because my BFF puts the B in BFF, she figured out that you can give Stitch Fix gift cards.  Yep, up there in the right hand corner of Stitch Fix it says gift cards.  Why didn't I ever notice that?   Anyway, my Sister Girl hooked me up.  (Love you Kimmie.  You can touch my butter jeans anytime you want!)  If you want to give Stitch Fix a try, please use my referral code:

https://www.stitchfix.com/referral/6481899

I do get a $25 credit for anyone who gets a fix.  My conflicted goals will love you for it!

Here's to being beautiful in 2016, even if it's every other month!

K

You Just Can't Make This Stuff Up...

I am so happy it's May.  May means it becomes consistently warmer.  May means I can spend more time outside.  May means Memorial Day is coming (and more importantly, that means summer is coming).  Mostly, I am happy that it's May for the sheer fact that April is over.

So...things were starting to become "normal".  We had a pretty good, stress free week.  We even got to do something wonderful!  In the fall, we bought tickets to see The Lion King.  Both of our girls were having big birthdays - Lil Bit was turning 10 and our Tweenie was turning 13.  We surprised them with tickets and a "fancy dinner" out.  We had a fantastic night!

Alright, I decided.  Here we go.  We are moving on with life as we know it.

Remember the old Ginsu knife commercials?  "But wait!  You also get...."
Lil Bit gets a fever on Friday and I have to take her home from school.  I figured she is exhausted from the festivities the night before and just has "Lion Kingitis".  No big deal, part of being a parent, sick kids.

Sunday, she still has a fever.  This is very unusual for her, so I take her to the doctor's office.  Hubs has gone to work so my other daughter comes with me. Doc tells me she has strep AND the flu.  As I am talking to the doctor, I look over at the Tweenie and she is slumped down in the chair, looking terrible.  Turns out she has developed a 102 degree fever and ALSO has the flu.  Yes, while we are there.  I take these sickos back home, get them all situated, get ready to go get their meds and in walks Hubs.  Looking awful.  I was like, "What's wrong with you?!"  I turn him right around and say "Go to Patient First and don't come back without meds".  Guess who else has the flu?  I am now officially surrounded.  So much for starting May off on the right foot.  I am the last man standing on Survivor Island. Believe when I picked up the meds, there was a 12 pack of beer in the purchase too.  (The pharmacist assured me it would kill germs.  She is a trained professional.)

Sometimes you have a bad day.  Sometimes you have a bad week. Sometimes, you are not really sure when you are going to go back to whatever normal is.  So what do you do?  You pull out your map. Because you can't stress about things you can't control.  You just gotta try and refocus.  I got my annual goals back out and reviewed them because you still have to get on with your life.  You know, in between the 80 trips running up and down the stairs taking care of your plague ridden family.

The good news is, at least I got my Chewbaca eyebrows waxed.

Enjoy life.  Right now.  Don't wait for better days ahead.  Enjoy it right now....one crazy, nutso day at a time.

~K

May Meals

Ahhh...May.  I love it so!  The weather starts to get consistently warmer and you know summer is right around the corner.

May's menu still has lots of crock pots meals for us busy folks but also things to throw on the grill.  Our freezer session saw 18 meals tagged and bagged.  Hope you will enjoy some of these meals this month.  Enjoy some of them on your patio or back porch!

May Menu

Grocery List for Freezer Meals

Enjoy some freshness this month!  

~K