It's Cheaper Than Therapy

Date Stick Jars

Still coming down off Valentine's Day, let's talk about date night.  With your spouse.  Sounds awesome, right?  This has been a struggle for me for years, not going to lie.  It's either because we can't find the time or (usually) the money.

Two years ago, the issue was just making it happen.  I made sure we had a date night scheduled for the last Saturday of every month.  Literally.  I wrote it on the calendar for the whole year.  Now we were doing better about actually dating, but I felt like we always went out to eat.  Which is fine.  But a little boring.  And sometimes expensive (If you have no self-control when it comes to your bar tab.  Which, we don't.).

So now we move to last year.  My goal was to have a little more variety in our date nights.  I had seen a "date sticks" idea on Pinterest (this is not a 50 shades thing).  The premise behind it was you could pick a date stick and have some spontaneity in what you were doing that night.  Now, we don't personally like the random pick, so we look at them all and pick one out that we like.  That might be cheating a little bit.  Meh.

Sometimes I feel bad that we don't go out more.  But honestly, we do a lot of stuff together as a family and I feel like many of those adventures are dates too.  If we go on a hike, we will hold hands at some point.  Or we are at the park and the kids will run off and we will be able to talk.  A couple of weeks ago we hit a brewery on the way home from a hike and history explore.  The kids played Battleship and we had a flight together. Sounds like a date to me. Get it where you can.

And we have lots of double date time.  We do things with other families and the kids go and play and we get to hang out with the grown ups.  I think that counts as date time too.

But yeah, I get it.  We're supposed to have alone time.

Chinese food and kung-fu

There are lots of date ideas on Pinterest.  Some of them I liked, some I didn't.  Go buy some large popsicle sticks at AC Moore, get a red fine point Sharpie and starting writing ideas on your sticks. Throw them in a jar and have at it!  We have 2 jars:  "Staying in" and "Going Out".  Going out of course always equals more expensive.

But you know, it's not about spending money.  You know what my favorite date night this year has been?  We got chinese food and watched kung fu. In bed.  It rocked.  And don't get all dirty on me. We were not naked. And contrary to popular belief, everyone was NOT kung fu fighting.

So here, in no particular order, are our date sticks.  Please feel free to steal them, alter them or add to them!

Staying In
Watch the first movie you ever saw together
Read aloud to each other
Exchange foot rubs
Football and fried chicken
Mexican night
Take out and Scrabble
Watch a documentary together and discuss
Make calzones and play a board game
Have a candlelight night
Make your own massage oil.  Exchange back rubs.
Blankets on the back porch and watch a movie
Roast marshmallows over a fire
Make a bucket list together and make your own sundaes
Homemade pizza and Italian movie
Make mulled wine
Plan our next trip together
Make a puzzle and eat pizza
Nachos and a boy movie
Learn a new hobby together
Build a fort together
Camp outside together
Make milkshakes and watch home movies
Fancy popcorn and a chick flick
Look out our wedding album
Play a childhood game
Make dessert together
Play video games together
Dinner and a movie - with a theme
Search online for dream home
Have a picnic outside under the stars
Make fancy coffee and go for a walk
Video record the story of how you met and fell in love
Fondue and wine night
Play cards
Paint together on canvas
Make a playlist of 10 songs from when you were first dating
Pick out cheese, sausage and wine and then share
Write out 10-15 memories each.  Then read them out loud to each other.
Make foreign food and plan your top 10 trips you want to take.
Chopped challenge - recipe or ingredient
Make a collage of favorite pictures - digital or otherwise
Make something you've never made before in the kitchen together
Ice cream night!  Buy small containers of favorite (each of us).  Talk about ice cream memories from your childhood.


Going Out
Drive in date (http://www.goochlanddriveintheater.com)
Drive out of town to stargaze together (maybe you can do this where you live, we will see nothing!)
Go antiquing
Window shopping for the house.  Replan a room
Laser tag
Go zip-lining
Go to a hockey game
Grab a pint at an Irish pub
Go to a museum
Play darts
Go bowling
Do a wine tasting
Play paint ball
Drive go carts
Go rock climbing at a gym
Do a beer tasting (we have no problem doing this one!)
Go to the shooting range

So what I am working on now is variety and not feeling guilty when I spend time with my husband (this is such a ridiculous emotion I refuse to discuss it further).  I put dating my hubs on my goal list this year so I would remember it was top priority.  There are plenty of things on the list that don't cost as much, although we are going to try to have some of the outings monthly as well.  And really, it's cheaper than therapy.

Happy Dating!
K

Don't Be A Drag....A Valentine's Day Follow-Up

Hey ya'll!  How was your Valentine's Day? Hope it was everything you wanted it to be.  And if it wasn't, well....then let's talk.

Let me start by being honest.  I am not a big fan of Valentine's Day.  I guess I just don't believe that there should be one day where you show people how much you love them.  I mean, my word, how much pressure is that?!  

I used to be one of those nightmare girls.  You know the one....you really need to get it all right for her or she is going to be disappointed and not feel special.  And if you don't get it all right, you will definitely know and hear about it.  I don't know why I used to be like that and I don't even know what made me change.  I wish I did so I could slap some wisdom on you.  (I also wish I could slap my past self!)

I have learned to embrace that everyone has their own way of showing love.  And that is OK. What shows you love and what shows others love can be two totally different things.  You have to appreciate other people's ways of showing you love, even if it's not what you want or expect.  Don't impose your ideals on others.  Let them be just as God made them.  Let them be themselves.  

I know now that love is a precious gift and you can't ever take it for granted.  More importantly, you have to appreciate people's love, in whatever form it comes in.  It is truly the greatest gift.  It is a gift for you to be loved, but it is also a gift to be able to love others.  

 

That being said, yesterday my husband texts me and says, "I left something for you in your car."  This is not our usual ammo and I was wondering as I walked to my car what was up.  Right now, my husband and I are on a mission to get our bills paid off and I am perfectly ok with saying, hey, don't spend money on me, let's just have a beer and get 'er done.  Surely he didn't waste money on flowers? No.  Instead, I got the greatest gift in the world....

Yeah, you are seeing it right.  I got a huge container of guacamole and chips from my favorite Mexican restaurant.  I just about died laughing but don't trip, I was HAPPY!  Some girls want roses, I just want guac.  It was the perfect treat and something that made me feel really loved.  And more importantly, understood. 

As a teacher, I do love Valentine's Day with my kids.  They get so excited about it, like everything.  I had a student who gave me a present that is the perfect example of what I am talking about.  He was so very, very excited when he gave me this.

It's not a Hershey kiss, folks.  It's poop.  A poop emoji stuffed animal that says....wait for it....you're so stinkin' cute.  I was...a little speechless when he gave it to me at first.  Then I looked at his little face, which was so excited and lit up.  I really don't think he knew what it was supposed to be and if he did, apparently he thought it was the best poop stuffed animal in the world (can you call this a stuffed animal?).  Of course I gave him a huge hug and thanked him so much for my gift.  And I really was touched that he gave me a present, and mostly the look on his little face.  No one has shown their love to me before with poop but hey, everyone has their own way of showing love.  And that is OK.

Lighten up and let people love you the way that they know how and can.  And don't be a stinker either.

~K

2017 - Recap and Regroup?

February....it's here already.  And just like that, one month of the year is gone.  (and if I don't hurry up and finish this post, this month is gonna be half gone too!)

How ya' doing on your goals?  Haven't set them yet?  Hmmm.... Well, I'm not here to fuss at you but guess what...it's time.  Now it's February and the next thing you know it will be April.  What are you waiting for?  Really.  Just turn off the TV and go to bed 15 mins early.  Take a cup of tea and a notepad with you and snuggle up for some me time.  Spend some time on you.  Think about what you would like to get out of this year.  The fun and the serious.  Refer back to my original post if you need help in how to make this more manageable.  Be Resolute in 2017

So let's say you have set your goals (go you!).  At the end of each month, it's a great time to recap and possibly regroup.  Obviously only one month of the year has gone by.  So hopefully you don't have too much regrouping to do.  Quite possible you haven't gotten started, but you shouldn't have half your list checked off either.  Hopefully you can see where you've taken some steps in the right direction!  Yeah, progress!

My main area that I have been focused on was from my frame:

That covers a lot of ground huh?  (You're telling me, you should see how frustrated I had become!)  There have been several things on my goal list that I felt would help me in this area. One was to start reading for pleasure again.  I have been diligent about going to bed at 9 and giving myself some down time, aka reading time.  I've started making myself a cup of tea and it has really become a ritual.  I have enjoyed this so much, ya'll and it has paid off!  I have read...wait for it...5 books since Jan 1!  Whaaaatttt??  I know, it's crazy, right? I can't believe it my own self. Most importantly, I go to bed in a much more relaxed state.  I have also began meditating in the mornings (I'm up to 7 whole minutes!  woohoo) and I have been making an effort to have date nights with my husband on Saturdays.  All of these things are helping me feel like I am not just working all the time and not having any me time. 

Now, believe me when I tell ya'll that there is a whole page of things that I haven't even gotten to yet. But that is ok.  It IS just February.  But if you haven't yet, write your goal list.  Then just pick something on your list.  Anything.  You can try focusing on a different thing or category each month if you want.  Remember, we said we were going to be purposeful, determined and unwavering in our pursuits for 2017.  Don't let another year get by you!

~K